wtf is love?

I have already made my stand.
Now it's yours.
I don't blame you.
I blame myself for finding the wrong guy again who just take me as some other unimportant girl.
I love you so much that i already marked out all our ann. in my planner.
I love you so much that i already planned what to buy for your birthday.
I love you so much that i am willing to accept who you are.
I love you so much that i ended up having a broken heart.
Do you love me as much as i love you?
I thought we can work it through but i guess you seems like giving it up.

promise? what the hell is that!

Broke a promise to MYSELF.
Promise are meant to be broken anyway.
Head spinning, very swollen eyes, throat hurts & stomach feeling very unwell.
It's only a moment of pleasure but whatever i need it.
Too many things that are bothering me which i don't wish to say it out but only to him.
Cause he is the one only i met.
What do you do when even him don't show a single freaking care?
Not even a single.
Completely shut down only to MYSELF.
Thanks friends i know you concern but some stuffs are just better to say it face to face.
And this stuffs will make me breakdown right infront of you guys so i prefer not to say it out.
Forget about him. Whatever i do just seems stupid/lame/nothing to him.
I know you are happy. I can see it but those hurtful words you said again & again make me never gonna do it anymore.
One or two times is alright & when you keep repeating it, the hurts grow.
I really don't know what to do anymore.
I should just stick to my own business from now on...

YEAH

THERE IS NO SCHOOL TOMORROW & I AM GOING TO GIVE BOYFRIEND A LITTLE SURPRISE EARLY IN THE MORNING =pp HOPE HE IS SO NOT CLEVER TO FIND IT OUT & I DON'T MISS HIM AT HIS STOP. WISH ME LUCK ^^ EXCITED TO SEE HIM IN HIS KUKU UNIFORM... I DON'T KNOW WHY MY BOYFRIEND LOVE TO GO SHOPPING SO MUCH ==' FREAKING G@Y BUT I LIKE =DD

(=(

2 more days to the weekends. Was pretty looking forward & absolutely not too. Was looking forward to meet Boyfriend!!!! Haven't been seeing him for E-I-G-H-T days =(( Was not looking forward because it means i am officially left with a bloody week to study 4 freaking modules.. -Stabbing myself with a knife- Super difficult can!!! The brain will BURST cause it will be super overloaded.. Oh my god! Oh my god! I predict i will fail one of my module which is SVE =(( Freaking shit.. Arg!!!! Have to STUDY STUDY STUDY!! I need my motivation back!!

One thing i cannot fucking not care is YOU.
I told myself not to sms you but in the end i still did it.
I'm sad that you don't wanna tell me about it nor give me a chance to explain.
If this is what you want, i will not question anymore.
What i can say is i am even more hurt/freaking pissed off than you.
Just because i did not say anything doesn't mean i don't care.
I have been wanting to see you for a long time.
You just don't know how i feel.
You don't even bother asking either.
I am not as strong as you think i am.
Everything is just my fault.
I am a sucker for pissing you off.

Yesterday

Ugly ugly ugly!!!
Hahaha

Cute little 2years old niece =)

ILY

Please buy me real flowers next time!!
Win more money this Monday to "yang" wo =p
How can i ever be angry with you for long.

P/s:You are forgiven =p

TGIF

I'm bored cause i am lazy to start studying.. 2 weeks more till exams & i found out i have lots of stuffs to study =( Memorize, memorize & memorize!!! Freaking shit.. 4 heavy modules. Someone please kill me... Gonna start drinking red bull + coffee + brands. LOL... Gonna ask Boyfriend to keep nagging at me.. I think he will nag until he piss off WHAHAHAHAHA.
Someone keep tempting me to buy stuffs !!!! Should i buy or should i save the money to buy clothes & food? Awww~ Killing me!!! I hate spending money on myself HAHAHAHA.
Saving up a huge amount for Jas birthday & Boyfriend's valentine present =DDD

P/s: I love my nails ttm =D

TEXT MESSAGES WIN SMILES, TELEPHONE CALLS WIN HEARTS.
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It surely works for me.. Someone is not gonna make me smile nor win my heart for days.. I understand & i'm not blaming you.. All i can do is to keep grabbing my phone & wait for something to happen.

Chilling session

We had Ichiban Sushi & the total cost was $4X. Mad bloated. Love the food over there =)) After which immediately we had Marvelous cream - mix berry cheese cake.. Travelled back to our favourite hang out place. Had coffee, gossiping & GF helped me to paint my nails with my new bought Turquoise nail polish ~~<3 Girlfriend was quite pretty today but too bad we are not in the mood for photo takings. Love chilling with her.. Gonna meet up soon Girlfriend =DDD March! March! March! March! March!

CNY2

Felt uncomfortable walking around Singapore today with just a simple white tank top with black skinny jeans, messy hair & totally no make up.. People must be wondering why am i wearing so casual when it was Day 2 of CNY...
After praying i travelled all the way to find Boyfriend. Haven't been seeing him for a week =((( Thanks to NSF & different schedule... A lovely day spent with him =)) Gonna get scoldings from my cousins this Saturday OMG!!!! Gonna buy lots of meatballs for my dumber ^^ We love meatballs~
Thanks Baby's mummy & sisters for the red packets when i did not go their house bai nan. Was very appreciated. I did not expected them to give me as baby & i just get together.. Shall go baby's house bai nan when he book out. 13 days more to go =))

Valentine's Day

Boy : Can I be your valentine this year?

Girl : No.

Boy : Oh. Okay...

Girl : I want you to be my valentine every year.

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Happy Valentine's Day to people who are celebrating it today with your special one. Unfortunately i did not get to celebrate it with my boyfriend this year but i still wish to tell him this "i would want you to be my valentine every year idiot".
I came up with a super interesting idea today. I think no one will ever do this to boyfriend except me =D I was thinking of buying a bouquet of flower & hand it over to him when he is in camp!!! Super embarrassing right when your girlfriend buys you a bouquet of flower. Hahaha. My boyfriend is not a romantic guy so throughout his whole life, he only bought flower once & which is for his mama.. He thinks it's embarrassing for guys to hold a bouquet of flower. Stupid mindset he have. It's super sweet for guys to buy flowers to their love ones. Anyway i am not a person who love flowers so it's alright for me not to receive it often.. Hahaha. In the end, i gave up that idea cause the price of a flower now is super scary !!!! My friend bought 3 sunflowers and it costed him 50bucks???
I told Boyfriend about my crazy idea & he was shocked LOL. It's really damn fun. I am dying to see his expression if i really buy him a bouquet of flowers. He said he will pretend that he didn't see me & walk off. HAHAHA my silly boy. I love disturbing him..

Rashes

Freaking rashes at my face are so damn itchy & so damn obvious!!!
3rd time stepping into the clinic within 2 months..
No chocolate & nuts for the time being =(
Please recover before chinese new year.
Argg~

I am strong! I am strong! Nothing can pull me down. Nothing can pull me down.
At least this is what i can say to bluff myself & carry on with the things i am doing.
It's totally mentally tired.
Who really understand how i feel??
Who can i talk to, to make myself feel better & get over it?
I hate being so weak.

Me keeping quiet does not mean that i agreed with the things you had done.
What i can say is both parties are at fault. You should tell us straight in the face where everyone is & not telling someone else to help you passed the "message" to us. By right you should sms-ed the rest of us who were not there but you didn't. You only sms-ed one & then pushed all the blame to him. I don't blame anyone for this cause accident do happen but don't you think it's wrong to tell the teacher ?? We were not trying to push the blame to anyone. We just wanna go & tell her if we can extend the dateline as we really know nothing about it. Once we reached there the teacher asked us " so how?" I mean how would the teacher know if someone never told her about it??? This is also a group work.. What's the meaning of handing up individual works & not settling the problem together???
Anything you are not happy just talk it out WITH US. We are willing to share the work with you cause we are "a group". I hope this matter will stop here... I seriously hate to have conflicts but if i feel that we are treated unfairly i will not hestiated to voice it out.

Edited:

Mummy was right no matter how unhappy i was outside, i shouldn't bring it home.. Thanks mummy & meisai for being there ^^ At such time i really know who do care & love me =))

hahaha

Drew it when someone was so into his game & i was super bored with my notes.
I know my drawing suck ttm. You know the best part was i used to be a ART student.. LOL
Drew another panda but it's face looked like a mouse for some reason.. Seriously i don't know how i managed to pass my Art..
By the way i drew it at his thigh!!! So sexy~ Hahaha. Asked him to wear a shorts & go down his house but someone don't want =( Should have draw somewhere lower so that he can't hide.
Won't be seeing boyfriend for days... Got to do finish my notes & buy presents for valentine's day.. Have somethings in mind to get it for him despite my cash is running low.. Timing & the location are the factors... Argg~

Ranting

Many stuffs have been flashing through my head. I got to agree that after school started in January, i find going to school everyday is a super turn off thing.. I have started to slack badly in my studies. During semester 1, i will study for every single test but now i seriously can say i don't give a damn though marks will be added into our final year. I don't know what's wrong with me. I am already a lazy person but now i feel i am getting more & more worst. Boyfriend is badly angry with my studies.. I know everyone have high hopes on me.. Every single one of you wish that i am able to enter poly.. I also wish to but i can't convince myself to do that. I find no motivation towards that aim. I know it's for my future but i am too short sighted. I don't like to think for the future. What i care is about now cause i believe no matter how well you plan there's still a high possibility that things will change. Argg~

Just some random ranting. I am still gonna study & pass my coming exams.. Gonna stop being so lazy, set a goal for every single day, spend more time on the tb & lesser time on the computer!!!!

I'm dreading CNY. I don't wish to celebrate it for no particular reason. I haven't bought any new clothes except a 4inches shoes & a bottom which i bought from Thailand. Been window shopping around cause there's seriously nothing that caught my eyes. Thanks boyfriend for being so patient in choosing clothes for me while i just stand behind him & say no! no! no! In the end he got a little bit of pissed off but still i enjoy shopping around with him.
Arg~ my throat still hurts.. Wish it can recover before CNY. Will be camping at a spot holding containers of snacks & eat whole day long.. Whahahahaha.

3rd day not seeing bomb bomb.. I think he is currently sleeping since he has not been contacting me since 6pm. I guess i can really meet him only this sun which is like 4 days later!!! Gonna push my thriller movie till Sun too. I wanna watch it badly but i am scared.. I need someone to lend me his fatty hand to bite LOL. Ahhh~ I really miss him badly =((

#$%^&*

Hell-oh!! Let's start with a bad news. The bad news is i am freaking sick again!! &^%$#@! Seriously speaking i am still sick!! Am i cursed not to attend school every Tue?? I have been skipping school every TUE for the past 2 weeks... Been feeling horrible for skipping school so many times but please understand that i am really sick.. School food suck. Everything was deep fried or chicken.. *FYI- If you have cough you cannot eat chicken as there are poison in chicken that will worsen your cough?? My parents told me that. So the thought of not eating anything for the whole day gave me another reason to skip school too. Please give me back a healthy body =(( Not gonna skip school tomorrow(i think). I don't have anymore money to see the doctor & get any MC. -Argg-

The good news is i am gonna meet TST tomorrow after school to shop for CNY clothes!!! Let's pray school ends super early tomorrow!! -SCREAM-

Hope tomorrow is a good day ^^