promise? what the hell is that!

Broke a promise to MYSELF.
Promise are meant to be broken anyway.
Head spinning, very swollen eyes, throat hurts & stomach feeling very unwell.
It's only a moment of pleasure but whatever i need it.
Too many things that are bothering me which i don't wish to say it out but only to him.
Cause he is the one only i met.
What do you do when even him don't show a single freaking care?
Not even a single.
Completely shut down only to MYSELF.
Thanks friends i know you concern but some stuffs are just better to say it face to face.
And this stuffs will make me breakdown right infront of you guys so i prefer not to say it out.
Forget about him. Whatever i do just seems stupid/lame/nothing to him.
I know you are happy. I can see it but those hurtful words you said again & again make me never gonna do it anymore.
One or two times is alright & when you keep repeating it, the hurts grow.
I really don't know what to do anymore.
I should just stick to my own business from now on...